yujin13. (lake)

by yujin13.

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1.
(free) 01:16
2.
(free) 03:10
3.
(free) 02:18
4.
(free) 02:22
5.
(free) 02:49

about

credits

released November 20, 2009

recorded 2009 by christopher hopkins at earthbound recording in chula vista, ca.

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all rights reserved

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(10:39 Records) Chula Vista, California

Chula Vista (San Diego)-based independent music vagabonds. Check out our sites for music reviews!

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Track Name: (untitled)
should i be surprised?
back to this place i know too well...
i can't even bear to look at myself in the eye right now.
this is my home:
the same old song, sung in the dark
inside my empty room.
just me.
and yes, no longer am i left to wonder.
and yet, i'm sitting here just left to wonder, "why?"
the weight is lifted from my chest;
my arms and legs no longer stretch from east to west
by this device i built inside my head.
i am now free
but really? am i really? am i free
when all i see are past mistakes
that flash inside my mind so randomly?
a vivid picture painted by a mind that can't forget.
a constant question of who i'd be if we had never met
so i move on...
separate from this empty mental state.
i turn away
opposite mistakes that i made yesterday
and the day before
until i can't remember anymore
because that's just me.
...and i'm all i'll ever be.
Track Name: sanctuary.
i'm locked inside this room full of empty words.
these walls confine my screams for help
but no one is concerned.
digging deep into my thoughts,
searching for the key.
will the answers come to me eventually?
please, let me go...
staring out this window: a clear infinite sky.
my life comes to a screeching halt
yet, time passes me by.
an ironic comparison-
the scorn will always last.
disposing of a future, reminded of my past.
my ears are filled with laughter
i am shameful.
i am wrong.
the guilt drives me into the ground.
a place where i belong is all i yearn for
all i dream for, all i want to see
devoid of doubt,
of fear,
of fault:
my own sanctuary.
Track Name: barely awake.
fading...into endless dream:
this fantasy is my reality.
is this something i really need...?
a jaded view: to good to be true.
i realize that looking through these blurry eyes
i see more than i have ever before.
it seems that all our problems start to disappear when we are
barely awake.
recalling words spoken to me:
echoes of a recurring theme.
your pleasant face is all i see
i wake up-it was just a dream.
with all this weight just bearing down,
grinding me into the ground,
it feels like i'm already dead.
as i drift into serenity,
i finally start to realize that i'm
barely awake.
struggling to find the truth
we lose ourselves to life
along the way.
the peace that is found in our sleep?
gone, as we wake up to another day.
Track Name: cycle.
voices lost to the exchange of heated words the night before.
i cannot sleep-the guilt, it kills me;
the sound of crying in the other room
two seconds of silence pierces my ears
i block it out with this wall of sound.
decaying from consequences of audible violence
the fear is surrounding me.
i turn my back towards you
i won't accept apologies made in vain.
i made the promise to myself:
i'll never be like you.
i'll never be like you...
sincere intent to provide a better life;
ideals are memories that can no longer be achieved.
living a nightmare that was once a dream
peace distorted into agony.
tell me, have you saved me from a fate we don't deserve?
because now you're all alone.
your house is not my home.
save me from this place
i am not welcome anymore.
relinquished from elation as we're locked inside this door.
deliver me from agony
a tragedy overlooking those that yearn for so much more.
regression is a timely change
this time, my life will never be the same.
i broke a promise to myself,
"i'll never be like you."
because now, i'm just like you.
Track Name: rest.
one more day.
one more story.
adding words to this run-on sentence
this life neverends.
i'm waiting to rest.
contentment fades;
i'm done with pretending.
this plastered grin on my face starts to crumble
did you seal my fate?
am i one big mistake?
is anything so meaningless
to a soul that just ceased to exist?
i won't let this be meaningless...
staring at a blank reflection:
the light just shoots from random directions
(i) drop to my knees and beg for forgiveness.
how can i possibly live with this life
that neverends?
your words are bullets that rip through my flesh
so just line me up with the rest
and put this sack over my head
just let it end...