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This is what 20 ounces of coffee 5 days a week can do to a young soul.


released November 20, 2009

Recorded, mixed and mastered 2009 by Matty at Sushifish Recording in San Diego, CA.



all rights reserved


(10:39 Records) Chula Vista, California

Chula Vista (San Diego)-based independent music vagabonds. Check out our sites for music reviews!

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Track Name: Stay On Target (Intro)
Seek the truth. Look ahead.
Never falter, to the end
I have the right to know what is wrong
accepted that I don't belong
The rest have fallen, just carry on
The only thing I have to do is
Stay on target
Track Name: Helpless
This world is not what it seems
mislead and neglected and never accepted by them
It's hard to know what this life brings
and sometimes we feel so helpless
But I'll pick myself up.
And I'll do what I can with what I have
Time will tell where we will go
but this is something you have to do on your own

Do you remember what I said to you?
"Hope for the best, cope with the rest"
Track Name: No Avail
I can't recall the last time I really knew this place
I live through all the same situations
but I see a different face.
All these conversations I've had and heard before
These familiar words are overwhelming
I don't need it anymore

Do I have a place to call my own,
a "home sweet home" to live and grow?
I guess I'll never know.
Do I have a place to call my own,
a "home sweet home" where I won't be alone?
I guess I'll never know now.

Much to no avail, the truth is what I've sought
I wear this mask and make-believe
I'm someone that I'm not
People know me just by name, and not by who I am
and all this time I'm being used
for someone else's plan

Will I be free from insanity?
Everything's the same.
I'm just a rat in a struggle for life,
but to the cat,
it's just a game.
Track Name: Something New
Frustrated and distraught, you called my name
and I found something new.
But it was all the same:
I sank further down into this hole, no matter what I do.
I don't want this to be part of me
And I don't want this to be who I am

I needed an escape
but now, this overwhelming weight
bears down on my shoulders
within each day, I'm getting colder
A stranger to my family:
I look back who I used to be

Is this--is this really me...?
Track Name: Clean Slate
I try and I try to put the past behind
So why do I still feel this way?
I try to forget about the pain inside
always lurking in my mind.
There is no place I can be free:
my happiness taken from me.
Everything I do reminds me of you.

There is no "new beginning"--it's just a lie
weighed down by all this baggage
time passes by
Captive to this regression, I slowly decline
A prisoner to my own thoughts: I am forever confined

A clean slate--It's just too late
Bound to these memories, consumed by hate
The harsh reality, humanity's crime
Is that we fail to live life one day at a time
Track Name: Axel
The time has come to make ends meet
he got this far, he can't accept defeat
he has to make a decision:
"To Fight or To Flee?"

Axel knows karate:
1) It's getting really fun
2) His moves are #1
3) He's jumping up and down
His kick's as fast as lightning and I end up on the ground

His fist of fury lunges just like a bat out of hell
He's here, he's there, he's everywhere
I don't know; I can't tell
His hurricane karate kick
makes them know who's in charge
His strikes are hard and fast
cause in a second I see stars

This time he'll stand above the masses
just to kick all their asses
there's hell to pay, but don't think that he'll stop there
He's super fucking pissed
so just expect a fist coming at your face
As you lay to waste and come to taste bitter defeat
Track Name: Martyrdom
I'm at a loss for words. The well is running dry.
There's nothing left to say to you
My life is passing by.
I'm trying to catch up with every step I take
but one step forward, two steps back--
Meeting you was my biggest mistake

Did you build me up just to shoot me down?
Does it make you happy just to watch me drown?
Do you like to laugh when I fall to the ground?
You will get what you deserve when it comes around.

Get up, get over it, get on with my life.
Don't criticize me cause you don't have a right
A waste of time, I should have known
It's just not worth it--I'm better off alone

You'll just set me back. I cast you aside.
You'll just slow me down. Let me live my life.
Track Name: Regretful Thinking
Four years of regretful thinking:
It ended abruptly with eyes still blinking
And I know at the time, my life had just begun,
but in the long run, could I have done anything more? And in this game, who keeps the score?
And although the days grew long and dreary
and the routine left me tired and weary
I'm really gonna miss it all
I'm really gonna miss it all:
the times we sat around and talked
about the times we sat around and talked.

The end of it all has come today:
I know how I feel, but I don't know how to say it.
It's killing me inside and I just can't hide
that I could have done something more
instead of leaving with a losing score.

You said to me, "let's keep in touch,"
but it's not that easy, so just forget me here today
It's all for the best anyway
We'd probably never meet again
so just pretend we never met and
throw the memories away.
Track Name: Dreaming
I had a dream, it seemed so real
where happiness was all I could ever feel
Upon awakening, I sadly see
that it was no part of my reality.

If fantasy is the only thing that can save me
then why wake up if my mind betrays me?
If wishing and wondering is all I can do
then why keep dreaming if it won't come true?

Guilty and doubting during the day
waiting for my dreams to take me away
Away to a place where I'll never see pain
where anger and hatred will never remain

Victimized by circumstances.
Too afraid of taking chances.
Play it safe, no risk or bet
and later live life in regret.
Track Name: Late Night
I can't sleep; I'm too busy
just thinking about what I would do tomorrow
and I'm too lazy to close my eyes
and dream my life away; I know it won't come true
as long as I'm not with you
Whoever you may be.

Wide awake at 5 AM;
although I try I can't pretend to know what to do
to rest my troubled eyes, and much to my surprise
I think I'd want to feel this way if I were to be with you
Whoever you may be.

Will I just sit at home and wait for life to pass me by?
Will I get to know true happiness before I die?
Will I still be alive to ever know if my time is right?
Well, I'll just lie down here and think about you every night
Whoever you may be.
Track Name: No Point
Lately I have just been tired
Every day is becoming less inspired
People that I used to know are dead to me;
I'm all alone to walk a path I never chose
and I'm stuck at the fork in the road
Either way won't get me home
and I can't help but ask:
"What's the point of all this?"
Track Name: Blood Related
I'm just not myself when you're around
It's useless so you might as well be talking to the ground
I lost all my respect for you; I can't say I know why
But every time I see you, I use the will to even try

What happened to the person that I knew 5 years ago?
It was gone before I knew it; to a world I'll never know
I've seen what you've become
and I know not what to be
Be glad that I have you to thank for changing how I see
myself, the world, and every fucking person that I meet

I wash myself clean
from this bullshit that you call your life.
Track Name: First Impressions
I don't care that you think differently of me
and I'm not here to prove to you what I can be
First impressions never matter if you live your life alone
I'm not here for reasons other than my own

My heart has hardened; I close my eyes
and so I start to fall
You will never know me because I've built this wall
I want to believe that I can change my ways
But I can't hold on to anything at the end of the day

I'm not the person you thought you perceived
I don't assimilate as much as you want to believe.
First impressions never matter if you don't know who you are
A constant losing battle in this introspective war

Where am I going? What will I see?
Will I ever be the person that I want to be?
Track Name: Eugene Santiago
I don't want to see this mediocrity
compromise all that is important to me
My life is reduced to a mechanical cycle
How can I break this chain of regret?

How far will I get? How much can I take?
How much will I regret
every time I face the person in the mirror?
I can't believe in myself when all that's left is a hollow life

Another cog in the machine
The days drag on; It loses meaning
When will I find what I am looking for?
What the fuck am I looking for?

The chances that I missed
could have meant so much more
As much as I resist,
I always end up on the floor
How much control do I really have
upon this hollow life?
Track Name: Fading Fast
Slow it down, take it easy, I'm heading for a crash
How could I ignore or even expect
that all I love is fading fast?
So I'm standing silently; I try to look but I just can't see

That I've become my own enemy
An adversary to myself
I struggle to escape
from this self-destructive path that I create
Is there a way out of this hell?

I got this far in life
without ever really knowing how to live
It's not my fault that I was
always taught to take and not to give
This regression's got the best of me

Everything I treasured is now just a blur to me
Never had to worry about what I wanted to be
and now, the world is calling for my name
and I find it such a shame
but there is no one left to blame but myself

So tell me this: what's the point of even trying
when I've told myself so many times that this life would never last
I said that it was over when it's only just begun
when I robbed myself of any other chances that I had
Second chances...I'm fading fast.
Track Name: "#53, Your Order's Ready"
You know exactly why you're here
You have nothing else to live for
Being stepped on is your full time career
No purpose, no meaning, nothing more

No luck, just stuck, shot down on this dead-end road
A life that's full of bullshit:
So don't forget to fucking smile

Meaningless days of self defeat
are all your life amounts to
Too many mistakes to live with every day
Watch the expression turn to shame as your life falls down the drain

You set yourself up for failure
so don't forget to fucking smile